Well, I was talking with my sister the other day about a journey we are both on, self-improvement, and we had the best discussion. It created such a cascade of thoughts for myself, healing thoughts, that I thought I would share.
Over the years I have read hundreds of books and writings about how and why to change one’s perspective. A favorite site of mine, containing many of my favorite authors, is www.hayhouse.com. I had come to understand that my perspective, how I think about the things which come to be part of my awareness, could shape my health, my future, my now. What has just recently dawned on me is how to integrate this information, how to use it in my healing journey in a more powerful way.
So predawning of this awareness I would read something and if it resonated with my spirit I would attempt to integrate it into how I viewed, thought about and processed current and new experiences. I would almost, at times, attempt to leave the old thinking behind and go forward with this new idea. Of course, one cannot abandon old thought patterns necessarily, and often new information is simply assimilated and then available for use. But, it was not an active and conscious practice of mine to simply add to my existing repertoire. It was more like changing a piece of clothing instead of adding a layer.
I have come to view this quest of self-improvement in a different way and am using the information and realizations in a new way, an active way. First, I have simply started to add to what I already know and allow the new information to meld with and transform my way of seeing the world. I no longer think of it as self-improvement, but rather, now I see it as self-expansion. Next, instead of devouring new concepts and ideas as quickly as I can, I am studying, integrating and re-evaluating what what has happened, what is happening and the unlimited potential of what is to come. I sort of review my life experiences over and over, not dwelling on things, just relooking at them to see if they hold a different meaning. I find, as I do this, my perspective of the now is often dramatically different. In contrast, I previously used the information only in the processing of current and future experiences. Now, with my new method, it is the difference between night and day and it has altered some key beliefs I had previously held about myself and my role in the world.
Here is one concrete example – For years I have read about the concept – a person will find exactly what they are looking for. We have all heard that one, it is simple, straight forward and easy to apply. But what does it really mean to the whole of who a person is? What does it mean to what has happened, what is happening at this moment and to what will happen? For me, it meant I had to relook at why I have done many things in my life. What was I looking for or what did I see at any given moment as I experienced life, the earth and people around me? Of course the answer to that shifts, like blowing sand, as I tour the years of my life. As I reflected I could understand clearly why I had chosen certain actions, or why I had chosen to think in certain ways. I could see how and why, I had found what I was looking for in each experience.
This immediately translated to my life at this moment – each day, as the world unfolds around me, I can actively find exactly what I look for – love, peace, happiness, understanding, joy, sorrow, pain, suffering, kindness, selfishness – It takes less than a second to find something I had not seen before, simply because I never looked. And yes, it takes effort because it is so easy to be on autopilot. But it is also powerful and rewarding to see and understand what “is” in a deeper and more connected way. And, the future, what is yet to come, explodes with potential and excitement, not that it was not those things before, but not to this degree. Every moment now becomes an opportunity for something new. What else is there? I keep looking, in a way I never looked before, at what else, a glimmer of a new thought, new feeling, new understanding. The point is, I am looking now and clearly finding what I am looking for.
I have added to my daily journaling the question: What did I look for today and did I find it? How powerful to be able to experience exactly what I choose.